Seminars

Arleah is available to do seminars for professionals and lay people. Some possible topics are:

"Treating The Patient With No Hope Of Recovery"
1. Patients with terminal illness often get stuck in the second stage of the grieving process – anger. They struggle to articulate their anger and it often comes out indirectly; as over-talking, withdrawal, passive-aggressive behavior, or irritability with those trying to help. It is critical to help them express their anger. " Nothing turns to hostility quicker than suppressed grief."
   
   
2. Family members struggle greatly with their own anger toward the patient. They feel guilty, often ashamed of their anger. They often need a private place, away from the patient, to express their feelings.
   
   
3. Appreciating the difference between Acute and Chronic grief can be helpful to everyone. Acute grief is intense, energized, and present-based. It comes with little warning and is over quickly. Chronic grief is less intense, controlled, and infiltrated with unresolved loss from the past.
   
   
4. Most people have spent a lifetime controlling their intense emotions. This is particularly true for men. So its deeply frightening for them to tap into these feelings.
   
   
5. If healthcare professionals are going to be optimally helpful, they need to have a handle on their emotional triggers, and have as clear as possible an understanding of their own losses – grieved and ungrieved.
   
   
6. Keep discussions of feelings simple, and give patients options to react to. Stick to the primary feelings: Mad, Sad, Glad, Hurt, and Afraid.
   
   
7. The "List of Ten" can be very helpful. Grieving is draining and exhausting for everyone. The patient needs to grieve with another person; and they can often exhaust the other person. Consequently, they need a multitude of resources – thus, the "List of Ten."

For the lay public: staying Current with your process is one of the most important aspects of having a life after a death. It is often difficult to make a connection with feelings/behavior that seems totally unrelated to sadness and loss.

1. "Creating A Life After A Death"
   1. What to look for that makes the connection.
   2. What to do about the disconnect
   3. What to expect with a resolution
      
      
2. "Rituals, Grieving & Recovery"
   1. The added pain of your own change with mementos and rituals
   2. What to do with the old ways and objects
   3. What to replace them with
      
      
3. "Understanding Loss: Shame, Guilt & Regret."
   1. How to quiet the unrelenting thread of guilt that nags and chafes
   2. What to do about all the "shoulds" and "if onlys"
   3. Healing the shame of not being "enough"
      
      
4. "The Confusion of Loss: Separating Past and Present Grief"
   1. Understanding the brutality of the loss of a child and what else that dredges up.
   2. Learning that bereavement cuts to your core, through carefully built defenses
   3. Some important clues and what to do about them.
      
      
5. "Half A Degree of Separation: Acute vs. Chronic Grief"
   1. The tension between letting go and never forgetting
   2. Letting others care and comfort you
   3. You have to do it for yourself, but you can't do it alone